Everyone in this place doesn't seem to-- feel the same way about this stuff that I do. And that's... fine. I just... need to severely adjust my expectations.
[ they still sound a bit haggard, but they let their tail brush gently against her, reaching up to cup her cheek in a hand. when they continue speaking, it's clear and rhythmic, almost like they're singing. ]
I've said this before, and I will say it once more. This beast loves everyone, true - that is what it was made to do. But some are more loved than others, for their presence serves to soothe its hunger.
For pleasure or for comfort, I am used to being used and I had assumed you wanted the same as the others. This was my mistake - one I promise I shall never in the future make. But remember, that mistake does not change this fact: I put all of my heart into every moment I spend with you, and in every moment so spent my beastliness is eschewed.
I love everyone, Cypress. And more than that, I love you.
how do you respond to that when you're practically incapable of viewing yourself as loveable by any measure and the idea that someone would actually love you is so unbelievable you can't even formulate a polite response as you normally would in an awkward situation because your brain has short-circuited entirely and there's only a single braincell left to function, at all,
she's tense, in the way a frightened animal might be, and staring at silfda with wide, confused eyes.
[ she's frozen under that for a long moment, her focus all inward-- why would silfda do this, why would she love something like her why her-- until she notices the touch, and the wetness, on her cheeks. she seems to snap out of it, a bit, and hastily pulls her hands back, pressing her sleeves to her eyes. ]
[ they brush the side of her face with their fingers, humming softly to themself. ]
I seem to recall telling you the same about myself. But, well, here we are. And so long as that's the case, I won't ask anything more from you than what you're willing and able to provide.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beautifulend) wrote2026-09-03 08:03 pm
Re: sometime early 317
Into thinking this was-- something else.
Re: sometime early 317
Re: sometime early 317
[ softly, now, her grip tightening a little. ]
Everyone in this place doesn't seem to-- feel the same way about this stuff that I do. And that's... fine. I just... need to severely adjust my expectations.
Re: sometime early 317
[ they still sound a bit haggard, but they let their tail brush gently against her, reaching up to cup her cheek in a hand. when they continue speaking, it's clear and rhythmic, almost like they're singing. ]
I've said this before, and I will say it once more. This beast loves everyone, true - that is what it was made to do. But some are more loved than others, for their presence serves to soothe its hunger.
For pleasure or for comfort, I am used to being used and I had assumed you wanted the same as the others. This was my mistake - one I promise I shall never in the future make. But remember, that mistake does not change this fact: I put all of my heart into every moment I spend with you, and in every moment so spent my beastliness is eschewed.
I love everyone, Cypress. And more than that, I love you.
Re: sometime early 317
how do you respond to that when you're practically incapable of viewing yourself as loveable by any measure and the idea that someone would actually love you is so unbelievable you can't even formulate a polite response as you normally would in an awkward situation because your brain has short-circuited entirely and there's only a single braincell left to function, at all,
she's tense, in the way a frightened animal might be, and staring at silfda with wide, confused eyes.
when she finally does speak, her voice is dry. ]
M... me?
Re: sometime early 317
You.
Re: sometime early 317
[ sort of-- chokes on her own voice, for a second,
and, unbidden, her eyes start to well up. ]
Re: sometime early 317
Re: sometime early 317
Sorry-- I'm sorry, I--
Re: sometime early 317
Re: sometime early 317
I-I don't know if I can-- if I'm able to--
[ a pause. and a deep breath. ]
I-I didn't... do anything to deserve this. I don't deserve this.
Re: sometime early 317
I seem to recall telling you the same about myself. But, well, here we are. And so long as that's the case, I won't ask anything more from you than what you're willing and able to provide.
Re: sometime early 317
You deserve-- better. Than me.
[ a pause, though, and a little shakier: ]
... thank you.
1/2
Re: sometime early 317
Thank you.
Re: sometime early 317
Re: sometime early 317
I'll be more careful in the future. Or I will do my best, at least.